


is this home?

by sapphicsandseblos (solange_lol)



Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: Beauty and the Beast, Belle!Seb, First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Nonbinary Seb Matthew-Smith, Opening Night, Pre-Relationship, Seblos, hsmtmts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:08:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25217521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solange_lol/pseuds/sapphicsandseblos
Summary: Carlos can’t imagine earlier in the year when they were doing High School Musical that Seb ever thought they would ever get to this point, and now here they were, living out their dream.
Relationships: Seb Matthew-Smith/Carlos Rodriguez
Comments: 5
Kudos: 25





	is this home?

Backstage was silent except for the voices of the actors on stage, a stark contrast from the jittery energy right before the curtain had risen. The show was going well so far, much smoother than _High School Musical_ , and they were nearing Seb’s entrance once again right before ‘Home’. 

Carlos smiles, thinking about how proud he was that Seb had the courage to not only audition for Belle but actually go through with it when they had gotten the role. It was one thing to play one of the side lead females, and another to actually play _the_ female lead itself. 

He remembers when Seb had first expressed their dream to play Belle. The two of them were hanging out watching _Beauty and the Beast_ to prepare for Seb’s audition.

Originally, Carlos had been expecting them to want to audition for Gaston or even the Beast, but ever since they had come out as nonbinary, they had shied away from some of the more hypermasculine roles. It’s not that they _couldn’t_ play such a role (Seb could play any role in the show and still be the biggest star to Carlos); they just preferred not to. 

Instead, Seb had expressed interest in playing Lumiere. So, the two had been watching ‘Be Our Guest’ when they had turned to Carlos out of the blue.

 _“Who do you think is going to play Belle?”_ Seb had asked.

It was abrupt, sure, but Carlos hadn’t thought anything weird of it. He had already been debating how the cast list might end up all week himself.

 _“I don’t know, honestly”_ Carlos admitted. _“I know Nini and Gina are both auditioning again. Ashlyn was thinking about it, but I think she was leaning more towards one of the magical objects. Although she and EJ had been discussing playing Gaston and Lefou together if EJ isn’t the Beast.”_

(He could see Seb growing more fidgety with the more people he lists, but he had assumed it was probably just regular pre-audition week nerves.)

 _“I think Kourtney is auditioning for Mrs. Potts,”_ he continued. _“We tried to convince her to audition for Belle even though it’s her first show, but she said she’s not ready to play_ the _lead yet.”_

 _“So there’s a lot of competition?”_ Seb had asked, tapping one of their fingernails against the other. It’s one of their nervous habits, and it was ruining the light blue polish that Carlos had just applied on their nails.

He was about to reach for the nail polish again to touch it up when it had actually hit him. 

_Was Seb nervous?_

_“Don’t be nervous,”_ Carlos had said instead of asking, already being able to identify the signs at this point in their friendship. He had proceeded to take Seb’s hands, which effectively stopped the tapping.

(They weren’t together, officially. Still aren’t. It’s been months of dancing around each other— literally and metaphorically— since that night at homecoming. Both were still too nervous to say anything about the situation. Small, affectionate touches like these, though, they could do.)

 _“Whatever role you do get, you’re gonna kill,”_ Carlos continued, and he remembers giving them what was hopefully a relieving smile. _“Heck, maybe_ you _should be the one to play Belle.”_

 _“You think?”_ Seb had said, acting casual. Carlos had felt them tense slightly in his hands, though, and he could hear the same nervous-excitement in their voice after they first told him they wanted to play Sharpay. 

And suddenly, it had clicked.

 _“Do you_ want _to play Belle?”_ Carlos asked carefully, and Seb’s face had dropped slightly. 

_“Is that dumb?”_ they asked, and Carlos remembers the words making his heart tug at his chest. As if anything Seb did could ever be dumb.

 _“I know I don’t have to only play traditionally female roles,”_ they continued. _“Which is why I thought I should play Lumiere, y’know? Since I played a female role last time, and Lumiere is pretty androgynous. And I still would love to play him, it’s just….”_ they had trailed off, and Carlos had squeezed their hand, urging them to continue.

They had finally turned to face Carlos, taking a deep breath before continuing. _“It’s always kind of been a dream of mine,” they admitted. “Going onstage as Belle, under that single spotlight, and just belting out ‘Home’ to an audience made up people, and not of my stuffed animals.”_

The last part made Carlos giggle, but everything else they had told him made his heart leap into his throat.

 _“So, why don’t you audition?”_ Carlos suggested because, at that moment, he _knew_ Seb needed to. Whether or not they actually get the role, they needed to at least know that they have the ability to go for it.

Meanwhile, Seb was hesitant, like they were searching for an excuse to say no.

 _“Do you really think I should?”_ they had said finally.

 _“I really, really do,”_ Carlos said, squeezing their hand again.

_“What will the others say, though? If I get it? Won’t they think that it would be out of bias because I’m telling you, and you work with Miss Jenn?”_

_“If I had any say in the cast list, then Ricky Bowen wouldn’t have played Troy Bolton,”_ Carlos assured them, which had made Seb laugh.

 _“But, if I_ do _get a say this time, I promise to do what;’s best for the cast,”_ he had said. _“Let them think what they want, but at the end of the day, we all know that.”_

 _“Okay,”_ Seb agreed, and that was that. The two had continued to study the movie that night, although this time with a little more attention to Belle’s role.

And while the rest of the cast was extremely talented, Carlos had known Seb was going to play Belle the moment they auditioned, the same way he knew they were going to play Sharpay before the cast list was even posted.

Months later, and Seb was finally on stage for opening night. There had been moments of hesitancy after receiving offhand comments to full-on backlash from ignorant students at the school, as well as some members of the greater Salt Lake region once word got out that Belle wasn’t being played by a girl.

The cast had been nothing but supportive to Seb, though. At the end of the day, it’s what pushed them to work even harder.

Now, they were approaching the moment Carlos had been waiting all night. Ever since Seb had mentioned wanting to perform ‘Home’, one of Belle’s biggest solos in the show, he had been attached to the performance. And after months of Seb perfecting it, he was the most excited for it.

Now was their time.

They had a few scenes on stage that lead up to the actual song itself, but that didn’t bother Carlos. Whenever Seb was on stage, he was captivated watching them in action. It was beyond memorizing to see them become a whole new person, even for a few minutes. If Sharpay hadn’t been enough, seeing them play _the_ lead was damn near magical.

As soon as Ricky left the stage, (he had somehow managed to snag the lead, again) the opening bars began to play. Carlos feels himself take a breath, fixating on Seb as they begin to sing.

_Yes, I made the choice._

_For Papa, I will stay._

_But I don't deserve to lose my freedom in this way,_

_You monster!_

Carlos had already heard them rehearse it maybe 100 times, every time just as flawless. But this time, seeing them on stage with the costume, and makeup, and an audience, and that single spotlight.

It’s real.

 _More_ than that. _Surreal._ Like some sort of real-time fantasy.

As the ballad builds, it becomes more than a song. Maybe not to the audience, but to Carlos, and definitely to Seb.

He can’t imagine earlier in the year when they were doing _High School Musical_ that they ever thought they would ever get to this point, and now here they were, living out their dream. It represents every obstacle they had to overcome to get to this point.

It was beyond inspiring, and Carlos feels so lucky to be able to experience it.

The longer the song goes on, the more vulnerable Seb becomes, and Carlos can see at least half the cast— including himself—on the verge of tears. (He feels bad for the girl playing Madame de la Grande Bouche, who has to make an entrance the moment the song ends.)

_Is this home?_

_Am I here for a day or forever?_

_Shut away from the world until who knows when?_

Watching someone play their dream role is always magical. Even more so now, watching Seb.

_Build higher walls around me._

_Change every lock and key._

_Nothing lasts,_

_Nothing holds all of me._

The song ends with a surge of applause so loud that for a moment Carlos can’t hear anything, and so long that Kourtney has to pause before entering as Mrs. Potts for it to die down. (He’s pretty sure that it’s their family who is whooping and hollering so loudly.) Seb doesn’t break character of course, but Carlos can see their lips twitching slightly, the sign that they’re forcing away the urge to break out in a smile. 

Eventually, the scene does continue. It’s a short one though, and Seb exits onto Carlos’s side of the stage. Immediately, he envelopes them in the biggest, tightest hug he can give. (Which is a rarity for him; Seb is more of the hugger in their friendship.) It might not have been him on stage, or him playing his dream role, but Carlos’s chest is bursting with so many positive emotions that he can’t even name as he hugs them close. 

He loosens his arms around Seb after a moment, leaning back so he can see their face.

“You did it!” Carlos whispers, quiet enough so their mic won’t pick it up. 

They nod, not being able to say anything, but Carlos can see them almost on the verge of tears. He can practically hear them telling him _“I did, didn’t I?”_

They stand in silence, arms still wrapped around each other, and Carlos realizes after a moment how close their faces are. If Seb’s mic wasn’t on, and they weren’t wearing makeup, and backstage in the middle of a show, nothing would be stopping him from closing the distance between them right then and there. 

He does have to let them go eventually to prepare for their next entrance, but the thought stays in his mind all the way until intermission. 

As soon as the curtains close, Carlos immediately starts to search for Seb. There’s nothing more that he wants in the world than to sit down with them and talk about that song for hours. Unfortunately, they’re on a time limit, and if Carlos wants to see them at _all,_ he has to hurry.

Carlos finds him after a few minutes in one of the dressing rooms across from the bomb shelter. The room is empty except for the mirror where they’re reapplying hairspray.

The moment Seb spots Carlos, though, they’re back in his arms. This time not as rushed as it was backstage, but the same amount of excitement and sweetness and comfort that makes Carlos want to stay in this position forever.

And before he can get a word out, Seb kisses him. It’s quick, and he can feel the makeup rubbing off onto his face, but his hands immediately go up to cup Seb’s face

Seb pulls away (Carlos wishes they didn’t.) “Hi,” they whisper, smiling.

“Hey,” he says back, still cupping their face.

“That was for you,” they tell him, and Carlos can still feel waves of nerves and excitement coming off of them.

“The song or the kiss?”

“Both,” they say breathlessly. “Everything that I’ve done tonight was because of you.”

Carlos smiles, shaking his head. “That was all you, baby,” he tells them, and Seb blushes slightly from the pet name. 

Then, he leans back in kissing Seb even longer and deeper than before. He can hear chattering from the cast and the tech kids calling out warnings for intermission ending soon, but they’ll deal with that in a second. At this moment it’s just the two of them, both having lived their dreams tonight.

This time it’s Carlos that pulls away. “And that was for you. For your amazing performance, and everything else tonight.”

“Just tonight?” Seb asks slyly.

“For you. Always,” he corrects, and he knows they’re both blushing but it doesn’t matter. 

“You have lipstick on your face,” they giggle, reaching up to wipe it away.

“So do you,” Carlos says, mirroring the action. “You might want to touch up your makeup a bit before you have to get back out there.”

“Okay,” Seb says, but they don’t make a move towards their makeup kit. Instead, they lean in and kiss Carlos again.

“Okay,” they say again, this time actually letting go.

As much as he doesn’t want to, Carlos waves them goodbye. As much as he wants to stay in that room with Seb, they’ve been working on this show for months, and arguably is more important. He needs to check in with Miss Jenn before intermission is over, and he’ll see them backstage. They’ll talk more when the show is over at Denny’s, maybe skip the cast party to hang out together, who knows. 

(And no, he still has no idea what they are or what this means. That doesn’t really matter either though. He’s found a home with Seb, and that’s enough.)

**Author's Note:**

> while i am 110% on board with belle!kourtney and beast!ej (to the point where ive forget its not already confirmed), as well as nini or gina singing "home" since its more fitting for their characters, after watching jacob harens s2 cast list predictions video where he talked about seb playing belle,,,, something Clicked for me. 
> 
> i did batb in 7th grade, which was the only legit show we ever did and still means a lot to me. hearing my best friend sing home,,, ohhh man. also shoutout to the girl who kissed me on the cheek backstage that night bc she was the entire inspiration for this fic
> 
> so, i wrote this, because while its a dream of mine, i doubt this will actually happen (#joe: "while i cannot say he is or is not playing belle") and i want to be able to live in my own fantasy world before s2 comes out. 
> 
> i hope you enjoyed!!! :D im on twitter @SE3LOS and tumblr @klaineiac if you ever wanna chat hsmtmts (and be subjected to my three different batb cast lists) <3


End file.
